What's Going On Here?

It is estimated that there are over 7.5 million kids in the United States who are 20 percent above "ideal" weight. That is approximately one in five of our children, an increase by 54 percent over the last twenty years. Presumed causes for this increased incidence of "overweight" children vary from expert to expert and from week to week. Genetics is certainly a factor, but only one. Decreasing involvement in physical activity, poor eating habits, and various psychological factors all play a part to one degree of another. Add to that the truth that there is still a lot to be learned about everything that can go on in our bodies to determine body size, and we have to admit we just don't understand all of the possibilities. The jury is also still out on what health problems are a direct result of a child's being larger than "ideal."

Even children who aren't fat are worried about being or becoming bigger. A recent study of over three thousand children between the ages of ten and thirteen concluded that over half the girls and one fourth of the boys thought they were fat. One third of these children had dieted to lose weight, and almost 5 percent reported vomiting to lose weight. The figures for high school students are even more alarming. Another study found two thirds of high school girls dieting, many of them using diet pills, laxatives, diuretics, and fasting to lose weight.

An American Association of University Women (AAUW) study released in 1991 documented the drop in self-esteem as our daughters enter their teens, especially children of white or Hispanic families. During elementary school, 60 percent of the girls reported being happy with themselves just as they were; by high school there was a dramatic reversal, with more than 60 percent finding fault with their bodies. African-American girls apparently have a much better body image; 58 percent report being quite happy with their bodies. Boys also did much better, dropping only from 67 percent to 46 percent who were satisfied with their bodies. Interestingly enough, in listing things they like about themselves, boys listed talents; girls judged themselves on physical appearance. Our kids aren't born with this obsession to be thin . . . it's our gift to them, taught through words, actions, and media representations.

To be quite honest, what concerns us most are the debilitating self-esteem issues brought on by the outrageous treatment of children by their peers, teachers, caregivers, doctors, coaches, and families. (Yes, families! You know what I'm talking about.)

So much of what we think and feel about ourselves is based on what we were taught as children. Children who are raised in an environment of total love and acceptance are better able to handle the often harsh treatment they receive outside the home; children who are not have a very difficult time of it . . . at any size. The most important thing we, as parents, can do for our big kids is to love and accept them completely.

We must also be better at determining the best choices to make concerning our children's long-term health. The conventional wisdom - "1500 calories in and 2500 calories out = weight loss" - obviously doesn't always work. We are treading this path with the "experts" tossing one theory after another at us, yet there seem to be no real answers. Where do we turn for serious discussion regarding our children's health and happiness?

We're here to try and help sort through the confusion. We don't care about the statistics . . . we care about one child at a time, one situation after another. There is no one answer that is going to "fix" everyone. We just want you, as a parent, to make more informed decisions. Stick with us. Send us your questions and concerns.

For you kids who are looking for help in coming to some of your own decisions regarding your body size, the best sources in deciding what's cute, what's cool, and what is healthy are not necessarily your friends, your relatives, or even your doctor. This is your body and you have to live in it. Maybe it's time to reconsider what you think about yourself. I'm guessing you are pretty terrific as you are. Let's see if we can't find some realistic answers to what's bothering you.

Explore the pages on this site. If you don't see what you're looking for, write to us and let us know what's on your mind.